Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
my being single is dangerous.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
