did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize