hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
