lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
