I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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