Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
