The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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