Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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