WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
