Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
