i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
