but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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