think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
