Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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