thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
