Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
