when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
