these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
