Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Randomize
