well you can't waste a boner
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
