ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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