So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
