Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
