I wanna passion pit in your ass
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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