at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
