I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
