I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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