At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
