you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Randomize
