Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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