The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
