Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
