Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Randomize
