she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
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