hell yes lets make some ravioli
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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