When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
