Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
