Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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