I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
