His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
