haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
