well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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