i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
