Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
