took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
