i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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