ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
