Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
