who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
