clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
