You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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