There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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