Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
found the other keg... it's in the tree
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
